He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
