I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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