My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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