i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
