return my video game
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
