Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
