Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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