Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
