they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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