16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
