Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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