lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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