i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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