Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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