Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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