So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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