I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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