I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
