you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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