just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She bit a glass in half.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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