YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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