Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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