i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
