well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
