the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
