His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
