I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
