I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
