TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
