started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
