Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
