there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
