I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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