Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
