i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
