if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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