brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
