Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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