this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
