he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
