if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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