literally had 100 drinks last night.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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