The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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