just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
