Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
