college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
