Do you still have your period?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
