My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
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I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
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drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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