We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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