im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
