i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
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He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
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Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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