My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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