why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
