I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
