So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm having to shit out rocks
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
