I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
