Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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