your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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